113 lines
4.1 KiB
JavaScript
113 lines
4.1 KiB
JavaScript
const Discord = require("discord.js")
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require("dotenv").config()
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const http = require("http");
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setInterval(function() {
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http.get("http://dad--bot.herokuapp.com");
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}, 300000); // every 5 minutes (300000)
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//create a server object:
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http.createServer(function (req, res) {
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res.write('dadBot!'); //write a response to the client
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res.end(); //end the response
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}).listen(process.env.PORT); //the server object listens on port 8080
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const client = new Discord.Client()
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client.on("ready", () => {
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console.log("This was a terrible idea")
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})
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const jokes = [
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["What do you call a deer with no eyes?", "No eye deer"],
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["Did you hear about the baguette at the zoo?", "It was bread in captivity"],
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["How can you tell if an elephant's been in your fridge?", "There's footprints in the butter"],
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["My wife told me I look stupid acting like a flamingo, so I put my foot down"],
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["My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better!"],
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["Why did the man fall into a well?", "He couldn't see that well"],
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["Did you hear about the Italian plumber?", "He pasta way"],
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["What kind of cheese do you use to attract bears?", "Camembert"],
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["What type of cheese do you use to hide a horse?", "Marscarpone"],
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["What's louder than one monster?", "Two monsters"],
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["Not to brag, but I finished a jigsaw puzzle in two weeks. It says 2-4 years on the box"],
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["I couldn't figure out why the brick was getting larger. Then it hit me."],
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["One day my wife asked me to get her lipstick but I accidentally got her glue stick. It's been a year and she won't talk to me."],
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["I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered." ],
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["Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?", "In case they get a hole in one!"],
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["My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."],
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["Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera."],
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["What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?", "They're both Paris sites."],
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["What did the ocean say to the beach?", "Nothing, it just waved."],
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["How does the moon cut his hair?", "Eclipse it."]
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["Why don't eggs tell jokes?", "They'd crack each other up." ]
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]
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let waitMessage = ""
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client.on("message", (message) => {
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if (message.content && message.author.username != "dadBot") {
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if (!(message.guild.me.permissionsIn(message.channel).has("SEND_MESSAGES"))) {
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return
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}
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if (message.content.toLowerCase().replace(/[\s,]+/g, "").includes("hidad")) {
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message.reply("Hey kid")
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} else if (waitMessage.length) {
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message.reply(waitMessage);
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waitMessage = ""
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return
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}
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const tokens = message.content.split(" ")
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let iterator = 0
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let index = 0
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let previ = false;
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let found = false;
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let lastTok = "";
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for (let i of tokens) {
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if (found === false) {
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if (["i'm", "im"].includes(i.toLowerCase())) {
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//console.log(iterator)
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found = true
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index = iterator
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} else if (i.toLowerCase() === "i") {
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previ = true
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} else if (previ && i.toLowerCase() === "am") {
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//console.log(iterator)
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found = true
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index = iterator
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}
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} else {
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if (i.includes(".")) {
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lastTok = " " + i.split(".")[0]
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break
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}
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}
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iterator++;
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}
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if (found == true) {
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newMssg = tokens.slice(index+1, iterator).join(" ") + lastTok
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console.log(index)
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console.log(iterator);
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console.log(lastTok)
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console.log(newMssg)
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message.reply(`Hi, ${newMssg}, I'm dad`)
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} else if (message.content.toLowerCase().includes("joke")) {
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joke = jokes[Math.floor(Math.random() * jokes.length)]
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message.reply(joke[0])
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if (joke[1]) {
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waitMessage = joke[1]
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}
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}
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}
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})
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client.login(process.env.TOKEN)
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