const Discord = require("discord.js") require("dotenv").config() const http = require("http"); setInterval(function() { http.get("http://dad--bot.herokuapp.com"); }, 300000); // every 5 minutes (300000) //create a server object: http.createServer(function (req, res) { res.write('dadBot!'); //write a response to the client res.end(); //end the response }).listen(process.env.PORT); //the server object listens on port 8080 const client = new Discord.Client() client.on("ready", () => { console.log("This was a terrible idea") }) const jokes = [ ["What do you call a deer with no eyes?", "No eye deer"], ["Did you hear about the baguette at the zoo?", "It was bread in captivity"], ["How can you tell if an elephant's been in your fridge?", "There's footprints in the butter"], ["My wife told me I look stupid acting like a flamingo, so I put my foot down"], ["My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better!"], ["Why did the man fall into a well?", "He couldn't see that well"], ["Did you hear about the Italian plumber?", "He pasta way"], ["What kind of cheese do you use to attract bears?", "Camembert"], ["What type of cheese do you use to hide a horse?", "Marscarpone"], ["What's louder than one monster?", "Two monsters"], ["Not to brag, but I finished a jigsaw puzzle in two weeks. It says 2-4 years on the box"], ["I couldn't figure out why the brick was getting larger. Then it hit me."], ["One day my wife asked me to get her lipstick but I accidentally got her glue stick. It's been a year and she won't talk to me."], ["I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered." ], ["Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?", "In case they get a hole in one!"], ["My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."], ["Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera."], ["What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?", "They're both Paris sites."], ["What did the ocean say to the beach?", "Nothing, it just waved."], ["How does the moon cut his hair?", "Eclipse it."] ["Why don't eggs tell jokes?", "They'd crack each other up." ] ] let waitMessage = "" client.on("message", (message) => { if (message.content && message.author.username != "dadBot") { if (!(message.guild.me.permissionsIn(message.channel).has("SEND_MESSAGES"))) { return } if (message.content.toLowerCase().replace(/[\s,]+/g, "").includes("hidad")) { message.reply("Hey kid") } else if (waitMessage.length) { message.reply(waitMessage); waitMessage = "" return } const tokens = message.content.split(" ") let iterator = 0 let index = 0 let previ = false; let found = false; let lastTok = ""; for (let i of tokens) { if (found === false) { if (["i'm", "im"].includes(i.toLowerCase())) { //console.log(iterator) found = true index = iterator } else if (i.toLowerCase() === "i") { previ = true } else if (previ && i.toLowerCase() === "am") { //console.log(iterator) found = true index = iterator } } else { if (i.includes(".")) { lastTok = " " + i.split(".")[0] break } } iterator++; } if (found == true) { newMssg = tokens.slice(index+1, iterator).join(" ") + lastTok console.log(index) console.log(iterator); console.log(lastTok) console.log(newMssg) message.reply(`Hi, ${newMssg}, I'm dad`) } else if (message.content.toLowerCase().includes("joke")) { joke = jokes[Math.floor(Math.random() * jokes.length)] message.reply(joke[0]) if (joke[1]) { waitMessage = joke[1] } } } }) client.login(process.env.TOKEN)